What Are You Doing All This For?

Some thoughts that may be helpful to hear one or two weeks before Christmas, from Executive Coach Barbara Bates. There is still time to take the actions she recommends.

Christmas comes but once a year, and there is ever-increasing pressure to make it perfect and to get it all right. And it’s often MUM who has to do all this. So how can you achieve a Christmas that is how everybody wants, and still stay conscious enough of your needs and wishes to enjoy it yourself?

Before you do anything, take a little time to yourself to answer these questions, really honestly. What are you doing all this for, and what does it mean to you?

Many people feel that Christmas is for families, and it is the only time of year that everyone gets together, and it’s really important that it goes smoothly.

Others will feel that it is a religious festival and will want to make time for this first. And others, in these multicultural times, will not feel that Christmas is anything special for them.

Any of these interpretations are OK – just be clear about which one applies to you, and act accordingly.

For now, let’s assume you are having lots of family around, maybe just for the meal, maybe with house guests too, and that everybody thinks you are going to make it perfect.

Here are some ways that I have identified that may be helpful.
1. Ask yourself, how do I want it to be? And keep this in mind throughout. For example, if you don’t want to do all the cooking this year, well, suggest that you all go out for a festive dinner. Book early and forget the washing up!

2. Talk to everyone else involved a few weeks before and ask how they want it to be too. Do your best to accommodate but don’t be seduced into feeling you have to do it all.

3. Delegate! Get people involved – someone can lay the table, someone can deal with the Brussel sprouts, someone can decorate the tree, someone else can make

4. Have a Wish box for presents – or use Amazon’s Wish List facility. Don’t be afraid to give gift vouchers so that people can choose what they want.

5. Make sure that you get time to yourself, if only half an hour a day. Make this an absolute, as if it were an appointment you have to keep. Disappear into the bath with some posh spa bath foam, go for a walk – anything that gives you a break. Get enough sleep – it has been estimated that we get up to two hours a
night less sleep than people did a hundred years ago, and it is not good for us!

6. Be practical – stock up on homely remedies like paracetamol, have plenty of plasters, keep a note of emergency numbers – which you can use another time too.

7. Be realistic – it isn’t going to be perfect and it’s not your fault if it’s not! Just aim at ‘good enough’ and give other people some responsibility too.

Above all, enjoy your Christmas!

Love Barbara Bates

Barbara Bates is an accredited executive and personal coach, working with professional people under pressure to improve resilience, effectiveness and well-being at work and at home, using the latest neuroscience research and recognised tools.
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