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Taking Back Control and Setting Boundaries

FRIENDS AND FAMILY
As the holiday season looms ahead, I want to share with you a personal story that might resonate with many of you. It’s about taking back control of our festive celebrations and setting boundaries, even if it means facing resistance from those closest to us, like our family members. This isn’t just about tweaking traditions; it’s about reclaiming our space and peace during a time that’s supposed to be joyous. Let me tell you about my own transformation this Christmas.
Breaking Free from Dominating Traditions
Like many of you, I’ve faced the annual stress of hosting family gatherings dominated by someone else’s rules – in my case, my mother-in-law. She’s 76, and I respect her age, but the weeks leading up to her visit have always been filled with anxiety. This year, however, I decided things had to change. Despite protests about ‘the drinking uncle’ and ‘the strange cousin,’ we’re doing things differently. Yes, we’ve invited them both – the uncle with his sax is actually super cool, and frankly, it’s about time we had some real fun!
Setting Boundaries with Confidence
We’ve set clear boundaries for our festive gathering, inviting our awesome neighbours too, but they are bringing a plate of food to share, and a bottle of wine and we have placed a time on when the party will end. Christmas Day will be different as well. There’s a breakfast, but everyone leaves at 11:30 am. We’ve introduced a Secret Santa with a 5 euro limit to keep things simple and fun. The rest of the day? It’s ours – for me, my partner, and our dog to enjoy a peaceful walk and our favourite Scottish Soup (I’m South African and my husband is Dutch).
Your House, Your Rules
This approach isn’t for everyone, and I hear the murmurs of doubt – “My family would never accept this.” But here’s the thing: it’s your house, your life, and yes, you make the rules. It’s about prioritising your well-being and happiness over pleasing others.
The Power of Self-Care During the Holidays
What we often forget in the hustle and bustle of Christmas is the importance of self-care. We’re so caught up in traditions and pleasing others that we neglect our own needs. This year, I encourage you to rethink your holiday plans. What would make you feel relaxed and happy? How can you infuse your day with moments of peace and enjoyment?
An Invitation to Transform Your Christmas
This Christmas, I invite you to join me in this transformation. Let’s break free from the chains of pleasing others at our own expense. Let’s create a holiday that brings us joy, not stress. It’s time to redefine what Christmas means to us and celebrate it in a way that truly reflects our spirits.
Here’s to a Christmas that’s more about us, less about stressful traditions, and filled with genuine happiness and peace.
Warm wishes for a transformative festive season,
Melanie Hill

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