Shamed for what she wore! Part 2

I was Shamed for What I Wore as a Young Woman   – Annie Den Haan  Part 2

In Part One Annie told us how she was shamed at an impressionable age for wearing what were quite unexceptional clothes in what someone else considered to be the wrong context.

In this episode she tells us how this experience affected her clothing choices and self-image in later life.

I was Shamed for What I Wore as a Young Woman   –
Part 2 by Annie Den Haan 

Are you hiding behind your clothes?
As women, we spend so much of our time hiding our True Selves behind the clothes we wear without even realizing it. Chances are, if you’ve had a pattern of worrying about what other people are going to think of you, the clothes in your closet and your shopping habits may uncover how you really see yourself. This story is going to be especially helpful if you are ready to shift from being a caterpillar into a beautiful Butterfly with your style. Your habits around how you show up can be your greatest teachers if you just pay attention to them.

My Pattern Hiding my True Self behind my clothes is highlighted by a story from my early forties. After spending most of my adult life obsessed with showing too much skin, spending too much money, or being ‘too much’ for other people, I was ready to make a clean break with my People Pleasing past. The trouble was, I was experiencing an inner tug of war with shifting my subconscious patterns so I could fully come out of the closet, so to speak, with a style that announced to the world, “Here is my True Self!”

Enter Italy
The land of the Uber-fashionable. My former husband wanted to spend six weeks in Florence on a studies abroad course. As a stay at full time home Mom, I joined him as a tag along on his adventure. While he spent his days with his face buried in text books, I mostly roamed the streets of Florence — alone — day in, day out, scouring the local clothing boutiques for something that exuded the enviable Italian style (at a price that wouldn’t make my ex husband gasp). Italy was and will always be the pinnacle of style. Everywhere I looked, Italian women dressed in impeccably tailored clothes that beautifully skimmed their bodies. Even the men looked like male models strutting down the runway sporting the latest Gucci collections. The richness, the elegance, the custom fit… I wanted THAT. I wanted ALL OF THAT.

The Challenge
Shopping in Italian fashion boutiques in those days required high levels of courage. My eyes would feast on delicious displays of brightly coloured, impeccably folded button down cotton shirts and cashmere sweaters all neatly folded on floor to ceiling shelves. Sales consultants would stand menacingly by the door, making sure that no unsuspecting tourist was given carte blanche to carelessly rummage through neatly stacked piles of high quality garments, hunting for their size. (And rightly so as it would take hours to refold garments). I found the whole experience extremely stressful, gripped with the fear that I would get roped into buying something I might not need (while paying an exorbitant price for it), or feeling foolish for taking too much time trying on clothes yet walking out the door with nothing.

After scouring boutiques in Florence for weeks searching for a less intimidating shopping experience, I finally plucked up the guts to make a single purchase in a less intimidating shopping environment: a white cotton United Colours of Bennetton trench coat.

It was a stylish piece is a timeless classic that no self-respecting woman should be without — at a price I was ready to pay. I brought the coat home in the most unceremonious way, stuffing this thing of beauty in a cheap plastic grocery bag and hiding it amongst several bags loaded with fruits and vegetables purchased from the local market.

As soon as I crossed the threshold of our apartment, too scared to show my ex husband what I had just bought, I hurriedly shoved the bag underneath my bed, making sure that no one knew that I had just spent nearly 200.00 euros on an impractical white trench coat. I wanted to avoid the usual questions, “You bought what? And you paid how much for it?? Where in the world are you going to wear that?!”

The Takeaway Even though I hadn’t fully kicked my People Pleasing habits to the curb, a feeling of rebellion came over me. My new self was starting to emerge. My white trench coat made me feel unapologetically Italian, signalling the dawn of a new chapter in my life.

From that day on, I decided that I was going to dress unapologetically Italian, declaring to myself that my body is a beautiful work of art. Sadly, it would take a life and death situation for me to unapologetically own my True Self and ROCK with confidence the clothes I wanted to wear.

To find out how a sparkly pair of pants changed my life and helped me to overcome incurable cancer, watch out for Part 3

Talk to you then!  Love Annie

About Annie Den Hann:
Annie is a Self Expression Stylist who empowers career and business women 50+ to find their SuperHero Cape so they can embody their Truest Selves with a style to match.

Annie’s sparkly pants helped her overcome incurable cancer diagnosis in 2013.

After living on a religious commune 30 years ago, the former founder of Victoria Shopping Tours, knows that style can be a powerful vehicle for personal expression.

Annie relates first hand to women who dress to keep themselves invisible out of fear
of displeasing others.

If you want to know how to Find Your SuperHero Cape Having to Renew Your
Whole Wardrobe, click here: https://calendly.com/superherocapessession/30
Or send Annie  an email at: [email protected]

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