Shamed for what she wore! Part 2

In Part One, I shared how I was shamed for what I wore as a young woman. Those early experiences shaped not only how I dressed but also how I saw myself.

In this second part, I’ll show how those memories followed me into adulthood—and how one white trench coat in Italy helped me reclaim my sense of self.

Are You Hiding Behind Your Clothes?

As women, we often hide our True Selves behind our clothes. Without realizing it, we dress more for others than for ourselves. If you’ve ever worried about what people think of your outfits, your closet might hold more than fabric—it might reflect how you truly feel about yourself. This story may resonate if you’re ready to stop hiding and step into your butterfly moment.

I Was Shamed for What I Wore—and It Shaped My Style

The pattern of hiding my True Self began in childhood but followed me into my forties. After years of worrying I was showing too much skin, spending too much, or being “too much,” I wanted to stop People Pleasing. But old habits are hard to break. I felt torn between wanting to express my real style and fearing judgment.

Italy: Style Meets Self-Discovery

Then came Florence. My husband was studying abroad, and I tagged along. While he buried himself in textbooks, I wandered the city alone, drawn to the world of Italian fashion. Florence was elegance personified. Tailored coats, rich fabrics, effortless style—it was everything I wanted.

But shopping in Italy was intimidating. The boutiques were pristine, the staff watchful. I was afraid I’d buy something I didn’t need—or worse, feel foolish and walk away with nothing.

After weeks of anxiety and window shopping, I finally did it. I bought a white cotton trench coat from United Colours of Benetton.

The Coat That Marked a Turning Point

This coat was classic, elegant, and just Italian enough to make me feel different. I didn’t celebrate the purchase. Instead, I stuffed it into a plastic grocery bag and hid it under the bed. I feared the questions from my husband—“You paid what for that? Where will you even wear it?”

Still, something had shifted. I felt a tiny spark of rebellion. Even if I was shamed for what I wore in the past, I was learning to let go of that shame. That white coat marked the beginning of a new chapter.

The Takeaway: Dressing Like My True Self

Even if I hadn’t yet shed all my people-pleasing tendencies, I was beginning to own my identity. That coat made me feel powerful. It said, “This is who I am. Take it or leave it.” Over time, I learned to dress for me, not for anyone else.

It would take a life-and-death moment for me to fully embrace my True Self. But this was the start.

In Part Three, I’ll share how a sparkly pair of pants—and a cancer diagnosis—finally set me free.

Talk soon,
Love,
Annie