What is Valentine’s Day for?

What is Valentine’s Day for? Many midlife women seek the love they were promised in Fairy Tales and Rom Coms. These stories end with the sentiment, ‘They Lived Happily Ever After.’ But what does Valentine’s Day truly mean, especially for those in long-term relationships?

If you are in a fulfilling midlife relationship, Valentine’s Day is a chance to refresh and renew that love. It allows couples to step back from daily routines and focus on their romantic connection.

Understanding the Purpose of Romance Day

Many women believe that once a relationship is established, especially after marriage, love will continue effortlessly.

Wrong! Love needs to be recreated and refreshed constantly. If not, the excitement fades. I’m sorry to say, but this responsibility often falls on the woman. While both partners contribute, women set the emotional tone and must nurture the bond.

Navigating the Seasons of Love

The most dangerous time for a relationship is what I call the second Season of Love. This phase, also called Working Love, follows Romantic Love.

Unfortunately, Romantic Love lasts only two or three years. Working Love, however, continues for 20 to 30 years. During this time, couples focus on building a home, raising children, and earning a living.

I compare this to two horses pulling a heavy load. Their attention is on moving forward, leaving little time for each other. They collapse into bed exhausted, with barely any time to talk. Sex becomes a stress reliever rather than an intimate experience.

Rekindling Love and Connection

With so little time for each other, couples may grow indifferent or resentful. This is when most relationships fail.

Only half of marriages survive 30 years, and fewer than 10% reach 50 years. The greatest risk occurs in the Working Love phase, often leaving single parents to raise children alone.

Men often grow bored and resentful, feeling burdened by responsibilities. When their partner focuses more on the children, they may seek attention elsewhere. This can lead to breakups.

Making Time for Romance

This is why women must take the initiative. Couples must make time for each other without the children. They need moments to recreate their relationship, nurture intimacy, and maintain their bond.

Many couples could afford a few weekends away and childcare. Yet they don’t, claiming it would be unfair to the children. In reality, it would be unfair to their marriage not to.

Using Valentine’s Day as an Opportunity

Valentine’s Day offers the perfect excuse to take a break from the daily grind. It’s not about grand gestures or expensive gifts. Instead, it’s about spending intentional time together and reigniting romance.

Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship

Here are some ways to use Valentine’s Day to reconnect:

1. Plan a Romantic Getaway – Even a short trip can help couples reconnect. A change of scenery can reignite intimacy and remind you why you fell in love.
2. Write a Love Letter – In a digital world, a handwritten note expressing love and gratitude feels special.
3. Cook a Special Meal Together – Working as a team in the kitchen can be fun. Set the mood with candles and music.
4. Revisit Your First Date – Reminiscing about early days brings back the excitement of new love.
5. Set New Relationship Goals – Talk about what you want for your future together. More date nights, better communication, or shared adventures can keep love fresh.
6. Express Appreciation Daily – Valentine’s Day is a reminder, but love should be shown every day through small gestures.
7. Unplug and Be Present – Spend the day focused on each other. Put away phones and enjoy uninterrupted time together.

Taking Action for a Stronger Bond

If your relationship feels distant, now is the time to act. Valentine’s Day reminds us that love needs nurturing. It’s not just for new lovers but for all couples who want a deep, fulfilling connection.

Instead of seeing Valentine’s Day as a commercial holiday, use it as a chance to reflect on your relationship. Take steps to keep romance alive.

Love doesn’t survive on its own. It requires effort, commitment, and growth. Use this Valentine’s Day to reconnect and appreciate why you chose each other in the first place.