How to Improve Your Relationship with Yourself

Do you ever wonder, “Do I have a relationship with myself?” If you have an inner voice that talks to you throughout the day, then the answer is yes—you do!

Most of us experience an ongoing internal dialogue, offering commentary on people, events, and thoughts. Sometimes, this voice is helpful. Other times, it’s overly critical or even discouraging. Because it’s always present, we rarely examine its nature or discuss it with others.

Understanding Your Inner Voice

What kind of messages does your inner voice send? More often than not, it acts as an inner critic, offering fearful or pessimistic thoughts rather than constructive suggestions. This internal dialogue shapes how we feel about ourselves, often influencing our confidence and overall well-being.

Many experts now recognize that we have a relationship with ourselves, distinct from the one we have with our physical bodies. Just as we care for our bodies, we should also nurture our internal relationship to maintain emotional balance and self-worth.

Improving Your Relationship with Your Inner Voice

Theories differ on where this inner voice originates, but one thing is clear—we must learn to manage our relationship with it. Recognizing that our inner critic aims to protect us can help shift our perspective. While its warnings and concerns may not always be constructive, its underlying intent is often rooted in self-preservation.

However, internal conflict arises when we resist or argue with this voice. So how do we manage it? How do we determine which thoughts to trust and which to reframe?

A Three-Way Dialogue Technique

One useful strategy is to adopt the “Two Parrot” approach. Imagine yourself with a parrot on each shoulder—each representing different sides of your internal dialogue. Instead of engaging in a direct battle with your thoughts, step back and take on the role of an impartial observer.

How to Practice This Technique:

1. Assign one voice to a specific spot in the room, as if it were a separate person.
2. Assign the other voice to a different location in the room.
3. Physically place yourself in a neutral position where you can “observe” both voices.
4. Step into the first voice’s space and verbalize its message.
5. Step into the second voice’s space and do the same.
6. Return to your neutral position and acknowledge both perspectives.
7. Respond to both voices, either setting boundaries on how they communicate or reassuring them that you will consider their messages moving forward.

This technique helps introduce logic and balance into your inner dialogue, allowing you to engage with your thoughts without being overwhelmed by negativity.

Strengthening Your Mindset

Building a healthier relationship with yourself takes time and practice. Exploring various techniques, such as the Three-Way Dialogue, can help you cultivate self-awareness and develop a more positive internal dialogue.

As a member, you have access to many resources designed to enhance your mental and emotional well-being. Take time to learn from our experts and discover strategies that work best for you.

With love,
Jean