Don’t Remind me it’s Valentines Day

Don’t Remind Me its St Valentine’s Day

Many midlife women would prefer not to be reminded about St Valentine’s Day because it reminds them of the love they are not getting.

If this rings with you, you aren’t alone. Lots of Midlife Women are experiencing a Love Deficit. That means they feel they are giving out much more love than they are getting back.

The most important source of love
is your intimate partner. You may have a supposedly ‘loving partner’ but you know you are not going to get a Valentine’s Card from him.

You look back to earlier times, when that love was hot, and wonder where it went?

In my book, Love Sex and the Midlife Woman, I explain that love goes through different phases. It starts with Romantic Love, but that only lasts a couple of years at most.    

It is then replaced by ‘Working Love’.  Here the love is taken for granted because the burdens of home building, family rearing and money generation become the main priority.

Not only is the love taken for granted, so is the woman, or so it can feel. It is necessary to keep that love alive by conscious action to do so.

Should I go or should I stay?

The question you might ask yourself is – Can it be revived or am I better off looking around? In other words – Should I go or should I stay?

Before you make any big decisions, can I suggest you take some time to understand that the game of midlife love is essentially different from the romantic love we remember from our youth?

What is more, midlife men are very different from the young bucks we encountered when we were that age. They have matured and hardened in that time into predictable personality types.

How Chess can help

I have discovered that most of them fall into four categories. I have found their characters are surprisingly similar to the four male pieces in the game of Chess.

Also there is only one woman in a Chess team and she is the most powerful piece. I think she represents a useful model for a midlife woman entering the ‘Game of Midlife Love’.

You can learn more about these midlife men and how to sort then out, and the nature of midlife love, from my new video learning course ‘How to Find Love in Middle Life with help from the Game of Chess’.   

love