How was it for you, Leo Grande?

How was it for you, Leo Grande?

In her thought provoking contribution to the magazine ‘Is my Sex Life Over at 45?’, Alison Pilling recommended the film ‘Good Luck to You Leo Grande’. 

Well, I downloaded it and watched it.

I would recommend watching it on your own, at least the first time, because others may regard the content as shocking for a midlife woman to undertake, although the feelings that brought it about will be all too familiar to many.

Many midlife women have told me how disappointing and unsatisfactory they found their early sex experiences and how it led to them to more or less switch off their hopes for it ever being any better.

Emma Thompson brilliantly plays a successful hard working married woman who has brought up two children and now feels that she has missed out on sex,  and fears it may be too late.

To avoid you approaching the film with any preconceptions, I would suggest you watch the trailer on YouTube, several times, before you decide to watch the film.

Here is the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJcbZoJFLTU

You can pay to download it from YouTube but interestingly it is not available on Netflix.

The film Good Luck to you, Leo Grande is an encouraging sign of the recognition of the situation and needs of midlife women. Let us hope that is widely seen and recognised despite the inevitable opposition.

Thank you, Alison.

Love Jean

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What can we learn from Nicola Bulley?

On 27 January 2023, British woman Nicola Bulley disappeared whilst walking her dog in St Michael’s on Wyre, Lancashire, England.   Her body was later found in the river.

We learn that misogyny in the police force is not limited to the big metropolis, like London and Manchester, but can extend all the way to rural Lancashire.

We can learn from what the police in this case fed to the local media the underlying attitude of the local police. We can imagine what they were saying behind closed doors.

It was likely to have been ‘She was only a menopausal woman with a drinking problem.  Why are we wasting time on her when we could be out chasing motorists?

So when they found no quick solution to the case, it is likely they leaked this attitude and information to the media to distract attention from their own inadequacies.

This will come as no surprise to you as a woman. Along with women all over the country you will have experienced dismissive and patronising attitudes from the police. I really feel for women who have experienced rape attempts or domestic abuse when reporting these to the police.

The leaders of all these macho organisations may wring their hands and say there is no place for such misogyny in their service.  But how likely are they to be able to change endemic attitudes built up over years and instilled into new young recruits just by mixing with those who are already in the force?

I acknowledge and respect the good intentions of the those leaders and the politicians behind them but as they say, I am not holding my breath!

In the meantime, could we consider the suggestion of having a special force Women’s Police Service, run by women for women to handle the crimes particular to women?

I realise there would be widespread resistance from established interests but it would force a debate and maybe some change of attitudes among the existing police forces to show it wasn’t necessary.

If real change could be achieved it would the best thing that could be learned from the case of Nicola Bulley, Sarah Everard and all those other women who have let down by our existing police establishment.

Please let me know what you think. You can email me at [email protected]

Love Jean