Looking for Love?

Everyone seems to be looking for love but only a few seem to find it and keep it. Why is that? When it comes to choosing a life partner, experts say too many of us remain clueless about what we really want and need.

We are fed a diet of fairy tale happy endings and heroic romances from childhood. In these stories, love finds us and sweeps us off our feet. When the story ends the couple gets together and ‘live happily ever after!’

Looking around we can see that real life is not like that and we tend to blame ourselves or our partners for not living out this relationship ideal.

Well, don’t be disheartened. You need to recognise that there are different sorts of Love. They have a natural and logical sequence as we pass through life. Each of them has its own character and requires its own requirements to be satisfying and fulfilling to both parties. Understanding the stages of love can have a significant impact on how you approach finding lasting happiness in relationships.

Each of them has its own character and requirements that are satisfying and fulfilling to both parties.

2. Working Love

The next stage is predictable and natural. We can see it operating in nature. Watch the birds in summer. Both mother and father spend the daylight hours flying back and forth to the nest with food to feed their growing chicks. This is a built-in instinct, not just in birds but in humans. We call this ‘Working Love’.

Both parties commit to work together on a joint project. Most typically this is setting up a home or a family, or both. It can however be setting up a business. Shared interest is what keeps the couple together but there are many stresses and strains which can endanger the relationship. A couple has to manage and deal with these challenges to keep the relationship strong and growing.

The Working Love period is quite extended for humans. It requires knowledge, patience, and skill to get through. Sadly in today’s Western societies, one or both partners don’t have the patience and the failure rate is high, around half of marriages end in divorce or separation.

I believe the biggest reason for failing relationships is a lack of knowledge and willingness to develop the necessary skills. It seems to be unavoidable that the ‘working love’ phase has to be worked at.