The Seasons of Love

The Seasons of Love

Most of love songs and poems claim that their love is undying and will never change.
However, what we experience and observe tell us that love does change as we grow older.

Many couples who experience that heady romantic love end up living together but barely tolerating each other’s company. They stay together because they fear being on their own or that they won’t find anything better.

Only a few couples stay together in a lifelong loving relationship. Apparently, only 6% of married couples reach their Golden Wedding together.

Even for those few,  the nature of that love changes.  You can see this by the way a couple of teenagers show their love for each other and contrast that with the way their grandparents exhibit their love.

There are predictable stages along the way.
I have identified three and call these the Seasons of Love.
They are:
Romantic Love – The love in the songs that sweeps us off our feet.

Working Love – The usual pattern that follows on as a consequence of the first season

Mature Love – Your opportunity to love and live on your own terms

Each one has their own qualities.
The first one is the Romantic Love that ‘comes unbidden and will not be denied’. It doesn’t need much help because nature is firing on all cylinders to get what it wants.

Working Love is a longer haul of creating a home and bringing up children, plus earning the money to pay for both. It requires skill, patience and effective communication to keep this a loving period and our high divorce rate shows that many couples can’t hack it.

Mature Love is when the fires of passion cool down and love is a more considered decision and process. We can make rational choices about our lifestyle and ‘lovestyle’. This is also the time when a midlife woman can come into her own.  She has the opportunity to take leadership in her future relationships.

I talk more about these Seasons of Love in my on-line programme called How to Find Love – A guide for the Midlife Woman.

Love Jean