What do Midlife Women get on Valentine’s Day?

What do midlife women get on Valentine’s Day? A card and maybe some flowers, if you’re lucky!

For many midlife men, Valentine’s Day often feels more like an obligation than a heartfelt gesture of love. Remembering the occasion—or a wedding anniversary—is more about avoiding complaints or, worse, passive-aggressive responses like, “Your dinner is in the dog!”

Where Did the Romance Go?

What happened to all the romance that once inspired thoughtful gestures, heartfelt cards, and extravagant expressions of love?

In my book, Love, Sex, and the Midlife Woman, I explain that love evolves through different phases. It begins with Romantic Love, but that initial passion typically fades within a couple of years.

Then comes Working Love, where love and affection often take a backseat to responsibilities like building a home, raising a family, and managing finances. During this phase, not only is love taken for granted, but the woman may feel overlooked as well. That is why it takes conscious effort to keep the spark alive.

Making Valentine’s Day Meaningful Again

I once overheard a couple in a lingerie shop on Valentine’s Day excitedly discussing their plans for the evening. Judging by their age and demeanour, they were likely a midlife couple, seizing the opportunity to rekindle their romance in a hotel room, away from the everyday routine.

For midlife women who find a simple card or last-minute flowers uninspiring, I have a suggestion: Ask your partner before Valentine’s Day, “What are we going to DO to celebrate?”

Take Control of Your Valentine’s Day Experience

Be persistent until you receive a satisfying answer. You might be surprised at the creative and exciting ideas that emerge—perhaps even traditions that could be enjoyed more than once a year!

PS: I plan to start recording excerpts from my book, Love, Sex, and the Midlife Woman, for members of the Butterfly Club. If you’d like to get a copy in advance, you can find it here: Amazon Link. The Kindle edition is available for just £2.79.

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